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Category Archives: Psychology

Eliminate the Thinking

One of my goals is to find a way to minimize the amount of thinking I have to do about any particular subject. My brain is really addicted to thinking. It’s one of its favorite things to do. But there’s a certain amount of useless thinking that happens about things that don’t need as muchKeep Reading

Don’t Use The Full Hour

Most of our default settings look to the top of the clock to start anything. Meetings go for an hour. We block off time for our commitments in hour-long chunks. Even exercise gets its own hour, even if we actually only do 10 minutes of it. If you think of time in hour-long chunks, youKeep Reading

Have A Point of View

In our fear of being wrong, or looking stupid, or losing out on opportunities — we waffle. We waver. We fail to make decisions. We try to make decisions that leave all the options open. We’ll try it all, rather than pick a single dish. We’ll date as many people as possible, rather than cultivate deeper relationships.Keep Reading

How We See Ourselves: On Identity, Labels, and Privilege

Do you know the story about when a man is asked to look in a mirror? He’s asked what he sees. He says “myself” (usually he says his name, “I see John,” etc). A woman looks in the mirror and says, “I see a woman.” A black woman says, “I see a black woman.” How weKeep Reading

4 Key Phrases & Tools You Can Use To Influence Other People

Have you ever wanted to shake someone and change the way that they’re thinking, working or operating? From every day team communications, to managing your relationships in your family, to navigating the increasingly intense political landscape out there, effectively communicating who you are and what you want can seem like a pipe dream. We allKeep Reading

Why We’re Lonelier Than Ever (and Why Marriage is Falling Apart), According to Kurt Vonnegut

How many people do you interact with on a daily basis? Not online, or in your email inbox, but in real life? What about during the week? I had to do a quick tally — (ten coworkers, my husband, a few close friends I see regularly, an occasional dinner or evening out), — maybe twentyKeep Reading

Have You Ever Saved Someone’s Life?

In high school I worked as a lifeguard and swim instructor. I had a few close encounters — just a few feet from me, below my line of sight, a 6-year old began to drown in four feet of water. Her toes barely skimmed the floor of the pool, and her arms fluttered up andKeep Reading

An invitation into the darkness: the value of rumination and notes on finding your own inner guru.

The darkness of winter: time to turn inwards. The northern hemisphere is swaddled in darkness, as it is each winter. Today is the longest night of the year; the shortest day. The sun will rise late and quickly dash off, leaving us behind to contemplate the cold, wind, and dreariness of night. Despite the prominenceKeep Reading

The upside of being busy

Being busy – being full, having a lot to do, filling your calendar to the brim — can be overwhelming, tiring, exhausting. Sometimes we’re busy for busy’s sake. And answering “busy” to how have you been is, well, annoying. But sometimes there’s an upside to being busy. When you’ve got a handful of projects toKeep Reading

Have You Ever Lost Your Temper?

This is an excerpt of an essay from my twelve-essay short series on Grace and Gratitude. Each day, I send a story with a nugget, an idea, and a practice — everything from losing your temper, to finding small happiness, to practicing meditation. The program is here; or just enjoy the essay below as aKeep Reading